Storing Dinosaurs

A fter Carmen married Phillip I couldn’t chase her with my lizards no more since it scared Phillip and he would hide in the room and the one time it made it so that Carmen couldn’t drive Phillip to work and he was late and he didn’t want to tell his boss that Carmen was getting threatened with lizards. Carmen said Dor you’re my older sister act like it and keep them in their cage but I said it’s a terrarium. I don’t know why Carmen married Phillip anyway since she said every time we went to King’s that Phillip was creepy and needed a haircut and looked like a murderer especially in the winter when it would rain and he was in the parking lot pushing the carts in his boots. She’d say that guy looks like he’s killed people and I’d say stop being mean and she’d say whatever Dor. But then one time Phillip said he could bag our groceries when we was checking out and it was when the card machine was messed up and so we was causing a line and Carmen screamed can we get some help over here but I don’t think she meant help bagging.

After that whenever we went to King’s Carmen said hey My Name is Phillip to him like a joke because of his name tag and he would say my name is Phillip too to her and she would say you’re crazy but would also smile and I said you can’t call him crazy because that’s not nice he’s got an actual problem. She’d roll her eyes and say he don’t know the difference.

And in the spring she waited for him to get to work and asked the driver of his van if she could take him on a walk after his shift and the guy said you have to call his ma and gave her the number. Phillip’s ma I guess was sick of him being around because she told Carmen she didn’t give a shit and that’s what she said too in the fall when Carmen said she was gonna marry Phillip and he could come live at our place.

The first time Phillip was at our place he freaked out because the lizards lived in the living room by the TV. Carmen told me I’m gonna have to put those lizards in my room and I said I take damn good care of these lizards and they ain’t lizards they’re geckos but I only said that so that they knew I was the expert cuz I call them lizards anyway myself. But I said they’re geckos and anyway I spend a lot of goddamn time and money taking care of these lizards and this is my house too and I ain’t moving them. The lizards were good for chasing Carmen when she was messing around with the remote during movie night or eating my stuff from the fridge. I grab them one in each hand and run at her and tell her they’re poisonous and she screams and laughs and throws pillows at me and says you bitch but she doesn’t mean it. But I don’t do that no more.

Phillip says they’re dinosaurs and Carmen says you’re crazy those ain’t dinosaurs they’re lizards and I say geckos. Phillip’s deathly afraid of dinosaurs says they’re in his nightmares and says they’re in the storeroom at King’s and in the storeroom at church. And the first time he seen me chase Carmen with the lizards he was eating his cereal and he got up so fast that he spilled it and fell over cuz he tripped on the chair then he fell over when he smacked into the wall cuz he wasn’t looking at where he was running he was looking back at me getting Carmen then he locked himself up in the room. He wouldn’t come out and so he was late for work. So he cried because he’s never late for anything and Carmen said just tell them what happened and he said he wouldn’t say that he didn’t want to say that. Really it was fine that he was late one time but Carmen said don’t fucking chase me with them fucking things again it ain’t funny no more and then the stuff about acting my age and I said get your finger out of my fucking face. She said Phillip is my husband and you will respect him and I said well he’s also a retard so she broke my nose and I deserved it.

Then when I was at Scales and Tails getting mealworms there was a new worker there I never seen and she said what do you got and I said a broken nose and she said no I mean who are those for what do you got at home? I said oh I got two leopards. She said why aren’t you getting crickets mealworms are too fatty they need something else with them. I said Carmen don’t like the crickets. She said hold on and went and reached up high for something behind the counter and I saw her tattoo sneak out under her shorts it looked like a snake head and I wondered where it went up there and where the tail was right then. She gave me some powders and said they’re vitamins and to sprinkle it on the mealworms. She said her name is Shelly and I said I’m Dorothy. I would go on to court Shelly and we would move in together and away from Car and Phillip since Scales and Tails would eventually close down since not that many people in our area enjoy reptiles probably on account of sometimes they get them uninvited for free as natural residents of the local ecology. In the woods and in the bogs and swamps are unseen creatures some of them dangerous and deadly and sometimes one will somehow end up in a garage or a closet or a toilet and people have to call the authorities.

Before I moved one time I got back home and I heard Phillip in my room which was weird cuz one Car was at work and when she was at work Phillip watched internet videos in their room and two the lizards were in my room. So I real quiet went to see what he was doing and he was kneeled down looking at them real close in their terrarium and he was saying things in a whispery high voice and I couldn’t hear what he was saying but it sounded lovely. I watched him for a sec and he also sort of gently was tracing his finger on the glass drawing something for them or himself or just drawing nothing I don’t know. I didn’t want to scare him since he might knock over the lizards or freak or something so I snuck back to the kitchen and then slammed the back door open and closed again and was like hey Phil I’m back all loud. I heard him shuffle into his and Carmen’s room in a way that was not quiet at all but I guess to him he thought it was and then he came out of there like all nonchalant. I caught him doing that a few more times and I told Carmen about it and she said she didn’t know maybe Phillip was making peace with them or that maybe he was plotting to kill them she wasn’t sure and couldn’t be sure. I said stop messing and she laughed. She said just ask him how am I supposed to know and I said because you’re his wife. So I asked Phillip I said Phil do you go into my room and talk to my lizards? He got quiet and looked at his feet and then looked at the ceiling and I said well Phil do you? I said I ain’t mad I’m just wondering since I thought you were afraid of them and if you want I can show you how to feed them. He just pursed his lips a little and put his hands in his pockets and then picked up a box of macaroni and cheese and acted like he was reading the damn thing. Carmen said stop bothering him he don’t want to talk about it.

At Scales and Tails I would tell Shelly about Phillip and Carmen and she would just laugh at me and say what does it matter Dor? What does it matter if he won’t tell you I think it’s sweet. I said but what if he really wants to murder them and she laughed harder. He ain’t gonna murder anything you’re crazy your sister is just being an ass. Shelly would let me be in the office with her since nobody really came in anyway and in the office she would sit on the desk and I would stand close between her legs and get my face close and say maybe I’m just crazy about you. She laughed and said better than murdering me.

Carmen didn’t like it when Shelly came to movie night. She didn’t talk really at all and when Phillip would fall asleep she whapped his arm and was like don’t make me watch this alone even though me and Shelly were there. And a few months later is when Scales and Tails closed and Shelly asked me to move with her since she got a job with the parks department where she got to help do stuff with wild reptiles I wasn’t sure exactly and I didn’t really care.

When we was moving my stuff out the last thing to go were the lizards and when that time came Phillip was hiding in his room. I cracked the door and said alright Phil we’re leaving and he was just sitting on the bed looking at his feet and I was about to leave but he looked up and said Dor? Yeah? I said. And he goes he goes there aren’t any more dinosaurs at work or at church only here but not here anymore either but your geckos they’re good dinosaurs.