Aunt Sadie Holds Forth on “Boy Trouble” After You Tell Her Jimmy Wouldn’t Stop Staring at Your Boobs in Chemistry Class

When some boy snaps your bra strap or comments on your figure, brush it off like a fly tickling your eye. Laugh, even go hobnob with your girlfriends. Teasing just means they like you.

Smile even when you don’t feel like it or you’re thinking about the sorry state of world. It disappoints them if you look too serious.

If you disagree with someone of the not-so-fair gender, try to sound like you’re agreeing, or at least not contradicting them. You can nod, say mmhmm, mmhmm. Better yet, say nothing. Just flash those pearly whites. That makes them feel comfortable, like you really get them. Like you care.

If a boyfriend, uncle, or such, says whatsa matter honey, can’t you take a joke? shrug and say of course I can, it’s fine, even if you don’t think it is, don’t find anything funny about it, don’t even believe it was a joke. Just breathe. It’ll pass. It’s just how they are.

If you can’t contain yourself because they do something downright rude—like putting a hand on your derriere or claiming that women say “no” when they really mean “yes”—that sort of baloney—try not to flinch. They can be awfully sensitive—especially if they know deep down they’re wrong. Tell them as nicely as possible you’re not that kind of gal.

Later, when you like a fella, but he tries to get to third base when you’re only ready for first? Drop some hints—do up the top button of your blouse, keep your knees together, look down when he gazes into your eyes. Don’t push him away or make him feel rejected. Touch his face, say, I’m saving myself for the right time, or it’s not you, it’s me, or it’s just how I was raised.

If he’s still all hot and bothered, maybe you did something that gave the wrong impression—flashed those sweet eyes at him or showed too much leg. Say you’re sorry, you didn’t mean to lead him on. If he gets angry, cry. Tears work wonders. He might even feel guilty.

If he refuses to take no for an answer, wait ‘til he leaves the room, then quietly slip out the door. Always carry a can of mace, and have “911” on speed dial. And one last thing, Sweetie? Hold onto your pride like a loaded revolver and never let it go.